Kids disobedience and refusal is a recurring problem often brought to the attention of paediatricians and others working with kids and their parents. Several things can cause a kid to have a bad temper, emotional outbursts, and overall “bad” or unexpected surprising behaviour. Their atmosphere and situations can also affect behaviour.
Evidence recommends that extreme childhood non-compliance is comparatively stable over time, peaking slightly during early teenage years and lessening throughout late adolescence.
Behavioural noncompliance, also known as defiance or disobedience, refers to those cases when a kid either actively or passively, but firmly, does not carry out a behaviour that has been asking by a parent or other adult power like a teacher.
Defiant behaviour that continues for a long period and interferes with a kid’s performance at school and their connections with family and friends can be a symbol of something called an oppositional defiant disorder, or ODD. Types of behaviours include:
- defiance of authority
- losing control of temper
- refusal to follow rules
- deliberately bothering people
- placing blame on others for one’s own actions
- being easily bothered
- maniacal behaviour
What is the reason of “disobedience” of kids against their parents?
Nearby friends in school, neighbourhood, sensitivity, emotional variation during the age of grown-up are the possible reasons which Influenced behaviour. Other Influenced factors are
- social media
- current trends
- styles etc.
The way parents educate and bring up their kids e.g. discussions / explaining through logical reasoning, quality family time, abusive words in front of kids, abusive actions like beating up the children etc, influence child behaviour.
How to improve their behaviour?
If your kid has just newly started to disrespect and disobedience, tell them that you have observed a change in their behaviour and that you sense they are unhappy or stressed. With their help, try to fix the exact reason for their frustration or upset. If your kid is very disobedient, talk to your kid and think about your home environment or school surroundings to determine if any original issues are leading to their behavioural difficulties.
Think whether family members give each other respect, whether issues in the family are fixed with conversation or arguing, how much shouting there is on the part of parents and other caregivers and whether your family is dealing with unnecessary stress.
At school, consider whether bullying is present and how the kid interrelates with teachers. Low academic achievement can also be a reason in noncompliance. We need to go deep.
Actual & Effective ways to deal with a defiant child:
No one ever wants their kids to grow into compliant, dis-obedient or submissive grownups. We want them to be obedient. Show them how to apply the rule to their actions. We can lessen future defiance in a disobedient kid by treating them in different methods, such as:
1. Be A Parent, Not A Buddy.
You should be friends with your kids. You should go to their favourite place with them, tell them everything, and treat them as equals. But when you are friends with your kids, you really diminish from the power of your relationship and surrender your impact over them which make them disobedient. Your children don’t want to be friends with you. You’re their parent. Parents aren’t supposed to be cool all the time. Parents should have adult friendships and kids should have peer friendships. “Boundaries are about considerate and respecting our own needs, and being respectful towards others,”.
It may be attractive to treat your children like they’re your best friend. Though, kids need you as a parent to teach them as they grow. Disciplining your kid and set limits will inculcate confidence and this makes your child respectable and obedient towards you.
2. Respect A Child’s Feelings
If your kid is disobedient treat your kids with respect it is so essential because, without it, kids can’t worth themselves or others. kids who have self-respect treat themselves well and who lack self-respect don’t care about themselves or anybody else. They will learn to be respectful if you are respectful towards them and others in the family.
If your child becomes disobedient and out of control, enforce a timeout till they calm down and hold self-control. When you receive your children’s respect, they also pick up to respect themselves. All parents want their kids to be generous, well-mannered and respectful to everyone they interrelate with.
Permit a child her feelings of rebellion and engage warmly. By giving your child space to share in a relaxed and comfortable way when he’s ready, you offer him the same respect you appreciate from others. Children who don’t respect themselves are more probable to treat others poorly.
3. Turn Arguments Into Discussion.
Do not give in or lower yourself to your kid’s level and argue continually back. Give the kid clear choices and agree to hear the child out and entertain their thoughts and needs. If you respond to your kid’s talking back by losing your temper, they will reply with disobedience and disrespect. They will become more obedient when you remain calm, supportive, and consistent.
4. Fill Communication Gap
Lack of communications means unable to understand the opinion of the child; Children disobey after a specific limit of inattention. When parents try to understand the children, the children will do that also. Children are informed properly and there should be respectful of their thinking and decisions.
Spend some worth time and understand them. Remove all negativity from your talk. Open all the windows of communication with your children. Be willing and ready to talk. Keep talking to your children. Regular communication Build a healthy relationship with your children. Accept and adjust to the change.
5. Set Your Kid Up For Good Behaviour
Try to avoid circumstances in which a kid may be more likely to be disobedient or show other bad behaviour. For example, if you know your kid has a habit to get bad-tempered if they have too much on their plate, try not to schedule too many things after school or on the weekends. If your child hates sudden changes, try to permit a bit of additional time when you go from one thing to another.
If your child is still disobedient try taking them to a trained professional for evaluation. Maybe something else is causing this behaviour.