What’s a narcissist? A narcissist is characterized by a pronounced self-love and a strong desire to be admired by others. For this reason, a narcissist continually stages his/her grandiosity and hides their weaknesses and deficits behind an impeccable facade.
For them, the focus is exclusively on their benefit and on maintaining their image. In interpersonal relationships, this egocentrism and associated selfishness lead to numerous conflicts.
Self-value above all
The narcissist is obsessed with the positive feedback of their surroundings, with the affection and praise of others, with the compliments and appreciation of their fellowmen; is dependent on it. Without confirmation of your immediate environment, you cannot see your value as a person. Because of their extremely unstable self-esteem, they constantly need the approval of others to feel valuable, attractive, and worthy to be loved.
Therefore, in every situation imaginable, a narcissist does everything for one reason only: they want to receive admiration, for themself, for their achievements and their unique talents. To do this, it swells up and gets bigger than it is. Pretend to your fellowmen with unique talents and wit. They are deeply convinced of themselves, feel superior to others in every way, and never let doubts arise about them. The resulting self-confidence can impress others.
How to recognize a narcissist?
Narcissistic people always want attention their personality attributes allow them to easily connect with others, but this connection is simply to satisfy the cravings for attention about their interests, ideas, and needs. The others are just there to admire the narcissistic person. It wants to be the standard by which everyone is oriented and has unlimited power to be able to determine everything.
A narcissist can’t stand criticism. While they have to constantly correct, instruct, and evaluate others, they cannot bear even the slightest allusions and the slightest doubts about their attitude or their person. Any form of criticism is like a blow to the face and usually makes it resist violently. Anyone who dares to criticize a narcissist or says something they don’t agree with is seen as an enemy thereafter.
Lack of empathy
A narcissist cannot empathize with others; At best, the narcissist can fake this to the outside world by making it appear that they understand and sympathizes with others. You cannot put yourself in someone else’s shoes. The suffering of others is incomprehensible to the narcissist because they cannot sympathize with others or suffer.
A narcissist has to humiliate others to feel even bigger and more unique. On the one hand, you can keep your peers at a distance through devaluation so that you cannot look who you are, on the other hand, you can exaggerate your pain and perceive yourself as superior.
Love of success
The narcissist loves competition, wants to stand out from other people, and be seen as something special. In the competition, you can prove how big you are and how superior you are to others. To prevail in the competition, you are ready to make enormous efforts and work continuously on your performance. It only strives for maximum performance; second-rate or average results lead to disappointment and frustration.
The narcissist always expects special treatment. Because they are convinced that they are very special with extraordinary skills and talents, they assume that they will always receive exclusive treatment and enjoy privileges over others. If they are not treated according to their uniqueness and is treated simply as normal as everyone else, then the narcissist complains and feels that their grandiosity is misunderstood or belittled.
3 Ways to Deal with Narcissists
Narcissists can often be hard to avoid. Both at work and in personal life, there are narcissists you should hang out with. It may even be that your partner is a narcissist. There are also levels of narcissism. Therefore, it is important to know how to treat them correctly.
- Be careful with criticism
Since narcissists are not particularly capable of criticizing, it is important to prepare well in advance to express criticism. Especially in the case when the person in question is a figure of authority. In general, you should begin your criticism with praise. It is best to turn your attention to the appreciative part and present the errors as an oversight, if the narcissist still reacts violently to criticism, it is advisable to accept the reaction, often such a reaction is only a protective function of broken self-esteem.
- Set limits
An interpersonal relationship with a narcissist must be framed by clear boundaries from the beginning. A narcissist tends to take advantage of other people and make them bad, so you need to avoid that situation from the beginning. If the self-satisfaction behavior goes too far for you, you should make it clear to protect yourself and let them know you won’t fall into manipulation.
- See the positive qualities
While it’s often difficult to work with and deal with narcissists, many traits are positive. Narcissists are not shy to approach others openly and are interested in the lives of others. Also, they are usually very fun and can attract attention for their interesting character. They also express their opinions openly and have a good capacity to assert themselves. They can set a good example of performance and dedication, which is why the narcissist works particularly well in executive area work.
Narcissism can have consequences
Narcissists often base their self-esteem on professional and athletic achievements. However, if these successes do not meet your expectations, the narcissistic world collapses. At this stage, they are at increased risk of suicide and addiction. Even after the end of a relationship, the narcissist can fall into a deep hole.
Narcissists are people who suffer from not being able to meet their demands, besides their interpersonal conflicts affect their already weakened self-esteem, in the end, they turn out to be people who go from place to place seeking the acceptance and greatness they long for. However, the environment is not obliged to deal with this and hardly does, but it is important to recognize these types of people to try to carry relationships with them in the healthiest way possible.